Northwest Indiana Discussion

Two wealthy Repubs are sitting in a restaurant, one of them being the owner. The owner turns to his guest and says, "See? I'm doing my part to help the economy, I just opened up three new jobs in my restaurant." Just as the two get finished toasting each other's success, the busboy comes by to clear off their dishes and says, "I know, I have all three of them."

Some guy told me, “I’m a Republican but I vote my conscience.”
So I asked him, “How can you do both?”
Republicans will save the rainforest - if you tell them that’s where the golf ball trees are!

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. If the liberals would just leave it alone, it would change itself.

According to expense reports, Sarah Palin charged the state of Alaska over $21,000 for her children to travel with her on official business. In fairness to Governor Palin, when she leaves them home alone, they get pregnant.

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 republicans in a room
together? 100 people who don't do dick..

What's the difference between a Red State zoo and a Blue State zoo?
A Red State zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

I went down this week to sign up my Dog for welfare. At first the lady
said, Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare.

So I explained to her that my dog is unemployed, lazy, can't speak English
and has no clue who his Daddy is.

So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.

My Dog gets his first check next Friday.

Dang, is this a great country or what?

The New GM (Government Motors) Proudly Introduces
The 2010 Obama
This car runs on hot air and horse s***. It has three wheels that speed the vehicle through tight left turns. It comes complete with two TelePrompters programmed to help the occupants talk their way out of any violations. The transparent canopy reveals the plastic smiles still on the faces of all the happy owners. Comes in S, M, L, XL and 2XL

An attractive Blonde, Kitty Mc Neill was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. Kitty climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.

The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let Kitty off at the local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off.

"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.

"Nothing. I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."

"Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback!"

Bush is on to something



President Bush decides to leave the Ranch
and go out to sit in a local Crawford bar. A guy walks in and asks the
barman, 'Isn't that Bush sitting at the end of the bar?'

The bartender says, 'Yep, that's him.' So
the guy walks over and says, 'Wow, this is a real honor! What are you doing h
in here?'
Bush says, ' I'm planning WW III.'

The guy says, 'Really? What's going to
happen?'

Bush says, 'Well, I'm going to kill 140
million Muslims and one blond with big tits.

The guy exclaimed, 'A blond with big tits?

Why kill a blond with big tits?'


Bush turns to the bartender and says,

'See, I told you, no one gives a s*** about
the 140 million Muslims'.

PSALM 2009

Obama is the shepherd I did not want.
He leadeth me beside the still factories..
He restoreth my faith in the Republican party.
He guideth me in the path of unemployment for his party's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the bread line,
I shall fear no hunger, for his bailouts are with me.
He has anointed my income with taxes,
My expenses runneth over.
Surely, poverty and hard living will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will live in a mortgaged home forever.
I am glad I am American,
I am glad that I am free.
But I wish I was a dog .....
And Obama was a tree.

Just wanted to let you know I received my stimulus package today. It contained two watermelon seeds, cornbread mix, and 10 coupons to KFC. The directions

were in Spanish.

ROTFLMAO !!!

After listening last week to Obama's "Health Care Summit", I called my stockbroker and asked him what I should be buying.....?




. . . He said,



"Canned Goods and Ammunition!"

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.

The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this:
"Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I have!


"I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Chryslers, and I voted for Obama.
cid:2.3363004298@web113907.mail.gq1.yahoo.com

> A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
>
> "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
>
> Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
>
> Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
>
> The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
>
> Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
>
> She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
>
> She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
>
> (folks, you're gonna luv this)
>
> The bank manager looks back at her and says...
>
> "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone."
>

(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)
>
> Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!
>

Harry Reid Buys A Car.
Sen. Reid goes to a local GM dealer in Washington, D.C. With the intention of buying a brand new vehicle. Harry looks around and finds one he likes.

After going back and forth with the salesman, Harry settles on a price of $45,000.

Harry and the salesman go back to the office to complete the paperwork. Harry works out a 4 year payment plan, and signs on the bottom line.

The salesman shakes Harry's hand and says, "Thanks Senator Reid, the car will be ready for pickup in 4 years."

Harry says, "What are you talking about? Where are the keys to my new car?"
The salesman replies, "No, you don't understand Senator. You make payments for 4 years...

THEN we give you the car.

You know, just like your health plan".