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Jeff Gordon fires entire pit crew
Jeff Gordon fires entire pit crew!_
This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of President Obama's proposal to employ Harlem youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of dollars worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team as most races are won or lost in the pits. At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.
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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance,
and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery."
Winston Churchill
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