Northwest Indiana Discussion

The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
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2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
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3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
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4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
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(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
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5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
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6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
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7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know . . . it never happened!)
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(C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
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And the personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
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Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...
Then you are just an old sour fart!
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One for the ladies ...One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ' . . .

And they say blondes are dumb. . .
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A couple is lying in bed.
The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
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I LOVED THIS !!!

I thought it was pretty funny. Every time I look at my husband I think about #4.

LOL !!!

Mine can cook and clean, and best of all, he is an ex-Marine !!!

no such thing...

True, once a Marine, ALWAYS a Marine ! He wears a shirt that says that, too. He enlisted at 17. He is very proud of his service to our country during the Vietnam era. My Honey was a Mortarman, Cook, and Pastry Chef. He ended up staying stateside, unlike my brother, who was in the Army in DaNang, Plieku, etc.